Can you imagine, for instance, what it might be like to interview that child in the photo after she reaches old age?
Why Talk to Relatives?
Firsthand Accounts – Older relatives have personal experiences that add depth to family history. There often are two versions, though--remembered and factual. Both options are fodder for poetry.
Preserving Stories – Many stories are passed down orally. Writing them into poetry helps ensure they are not lost. If you're planning a narrative, then you might add fact-checking as a way to compare how someone remembered a situation vs what truly occurred.
Connecting Generations – Conversations with relatives strengthen family bonds and offer new perspectives on shared heritage.
Tips for Gathering Stories
Start with a Conversation – Approach story-gathering naturally. Share a memory and ask, “What do you remember about this (person, event, time, place, etc.)?"
Use Photos and Objects – Family albums, heirlooms, or old letters can spark detailed stories. Even if you run into a reluctant relative who hesitates to answer questions, that process can become a poem.
Record or Take Notes – Capture their words accurately for reference when writing poetry. Paraphrasing is more than acceptable, but the precise quote can help you land on a precise meaning.
Ask Open-Ended Questions – Encourage storytelling with prompts like:
“What was your childhood like?” Further: If the childhood was unhappy, ask about a positive experience. If a childhood sounds too Pollyanna, ask if something occurred that shook their childhood world.
“Can you tell me about a tradition we used to have?” Further: Discover why that tradition was left by the side of the road.
“What was the best advice you received from a family member?” Further: What was the worst advice?
Be Patient and Listen – Let them share at their own pace; some memories take time to surface. You may receive a phone call or email later where that relative remembered something he or she couldn't dig up at the time of the interview.
Turning Stories into Poetry
Once you’ve gathered stories, identify a moment or emotion that stands out in the memories you obtained. Try writing a poem that captures the essence of that story. Don’t feel pressured to include every detail—sometimes what’s left unsaid is just as powerful as what is declared.
A Challenge for You
Interview a relative this week and write a poem based on their story. What did you learn that surprised you? How did their words make you feel?
Gathering stories from living relatives helps us capture history in a way that feels personal and alive. These stories, transformed into poetry, become a bridge between past and present. If you have siblings, talk with them as well. I'll never forget talking to my brother who is five years younger than me. His perspective on our family was so different than mine, mainly because he was male in a traditional family, but also because he had the advantage of two siblings going before him to "break the parents in" according to his narrative. Plus, five years can make a world of difference when the world changes so quickly.
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